Sunday, May 1, 2011

Back, as if from the dead

There are some reasons I haven’t blogged in over a year.
The first is my memory.

No, I didn’t forget about you, or my blog, or how to type, I just forgot this little bitty detail called a password. And a username. And also maybe how to write blogs.

This has kept me out of blogly commission for some time now, but indeed, I HAVE SOLVED IT!
And indeed, my brilliant solution required merely four simple steps, which I shall here generously share with you all and which I give permission for other blogger comrades to use when technology and memory and Bloggerteam turn their cold uncaring backs on you.

Step 1: I found a husband. YES! A handsome one of my very own! It wasn’t even on purpose. Sometimes these things just happen while one is innocently blogging about sharks. I shall likely dote on him in future blogs, but at present let us move to

Step 2: I figured out how to make him want to do things for me. The secret is to use the magic word, which I shall capitalize for emphasis: IMPOSSIBLE. (Examples: “It is IMPOSSIBLE to kill a cockroach that big without him killing us first!” “It is IMPOSSIBLE to make spaghetti AND meatballs AND buttery garlic toast in just one night!” “It is IMPOSSIBLE for us to move to a treehouse in the Amazon Rainforest and swing around naked on vines all day!” (Note: I have not used this one as yet, but rest assured when I do it will work. This word is magic, I tell you! Exhibit A: a large dead cockroach on our floor. Exhibit B: my increasingly large Italian belly (How many parentheses is one allowed to put within other parentheses before being arrested by the parentheses police-eses?)))…

Step 3: I used the magic word in relation to my impossible-to-solve blognundrum. I said, and I quote, “Husband, it is IMPOSSIBLE to log in to that old blog! Alas, my blogging days have been put to an end by this IMPOSSIBILITY!”

Step 4: I watched lovingly as Husband Bagley solved my year-long blog famine in a record time of .75 second. That’s not even a full second! Doesn’t that sound IMPOSSIBLE??
So here I am again, folks. All thanks to this new adorable addition to my life and one magic word. Catch y’all next time from the Amazon Rainforest.

2 comments:

  1. Val you make me laugh!! I'm glad you made it back in to the blogging world!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's awesome that you've figured out the ways wives can persuade their husbands to do whatever they want; I use crying and it works every time :)

    ReplyDelete